Dreams.
Most of us have them.
I've always dreamed of being a writer, of inspiring people with words.
And so I started to write, for better or for worse.
It took a little over a year just to write, rewrite and edit my first professionally published children's book 'Home'.
And now I'm a published author!
So what?
Honestly, I'd like to just go back into hiding. The 'damage' is already done.
Seriously, how much rejection can a person take?
But we didn't just stop there. We decided to self-publish.
In total, we spent more than two years on this project as we also needed time to select and work with a skilled artist on the illustrations and lay-out of the book before sending it off to be printed.
Now you might wonder, why would we choose to go down the route of self-publication?
Isn't it very time-consuming, not to mention, expensive.
And there's no guarantee for the outcome.
Yes. You're right. All of the above is true.
And diving into the deep end used to terrify me as a child.
It wasn't so much the jump itself.
The worst part was when the water was so dark, you couldn't see what you were diving into.
But, as our good friend Steve used to say: "Why not?"
Why not step over the edge, giving all you've got, and maybe learn something along the way?
Why not be terrified?
Fear can either be our greatest enemy, when it holds us down, or our greatest ally, when it propels us to follow our dreams.
In the past, facing my fears has only made me stronger.
Like the time when I dreamed for months of riding a motorbike.
The idea of the power I would have to harness terrified me, especially since I had never even sat on a motorbike before. But I could just feel the wind and taste the freedom in my dreams.
And I did it! We got the bike.
Then came the reality, the hard part of learning to ride.
And yes, I fell. Often.
But it was one of the best times of my life.
Fears will always be there.
Sometimes little, like my ridiculous fear of eight-legged bugs.
And sometimes large, like my fear of starting a new life on the other side of the world.
And yet I have to choose, one way or another, what to do with them.
It's a bit ironic that my first published book is about a little boy who takes a big risk...
And here I am: a big girl afraid to take a little step forward.
Maybe in this coming-of-age tale
I'm the one who's really growing up.
My 9-year old son is scared of going ice-skating. Of stepping onto thin ice and falling, then being ridiculed.
And yet, he's doing it!
Because he's even more scared of not trying. Of not knowing what it's like to glide across the smooth surface and feel the wind in his face.
So maybe, when we think of our dreams, that's the true recipe for success:
The guts to go for it anyways, sprinkled with a bit of insanity and a whole lot of social support.
Because, let's face it, I wouldn't have come so far without my crazy husband believing in me and coaching me on.
And the friends and family that stand behind me remind me that it's okay to fall.
The only real failure is to not try at all.
As my hubby recently shared: "If you're not terrified of your dreams, you're not dreaming big enough!"
That's what it means to be alive, to know the sweet taste of sacrifice and humility and come through it.
So, what have I learned from this process?
Honestly, that still remains to be seen.
But tomorrow we stand at a new precipice.
And would I do it all again?
As Steve would say: " Why not?"
Thanks, Steve. 😊
"Home" at Amazon.com: http://tinyurl.com/elphomeus
