A painful teacher

I don't like pain, I'd rather avoid it.

I don't like to suffer, it makes me feel angry.

How dare I be exposed for being weak and mortal!

When I feel pain, I get upset.

When I get sick, I feel frustrated.

I fight it.  

This isn't me, I tell myself.

I am a happy, confident, strong and healthy woman 

who has come this far, learned so much, grown in wisdom and maturity.

And I love to take risks, to take on a good challenge. 

But...

I don't like pain,  I 'd rather avoid it.

How can I call myself wise and mature if I don't like pain?

How can I call myself a risk-taker if I don't accept pain

and see it as something that's making me stronger?

Is it making me stronger?

What will happen if I give in to this painful teacher,

Accept my defeat and admit that I am merely mortal?

Is there another school of life to learn how to be strong and wise?

Or am I destined to experience pain again and again,  

simply battling on, fighting what I know to be a losing fight?

And only perhaps one day discovering the secret?

Questions for which I'm not sure I want to hear the answers.

In the meantime, 

this is me.

I don't like pain, I'd rather avoid it.

Time...my friend

 

One-hundred-and-twenty

one day I'll become;

one-hundred-and-twenty,

that's too old, for some.

But time, though often on my heel

will shed perspective on what's real.

And time, my friend, through history's lens

much pain and sorrow will heal and cleanse. 

So, even though I've often thought

and with my conscience wrestled and fought:

'There's never enough of time to spend

and why must all the good things end?'

 

With time, I might just realise

that time itself is not the prize.

A hefty price will always be measured;

it's time that reminds us why this life is treasured.  

One-hundred-and-twenty

one day I'll become;

one-hundred-and-twenty,

that's too old, for some.

 

But, time, indeed, you are my friend,

reminding me of what I spend:

Each moment, though it's swiftly gone,

a wisdom, a memory, a treasure won.

Letting go...

Uncertainty looms,

yet, ne'er certain are we

when we merely hold on

to what we can see.

Moving on,  letting go,

having faith, with naught to show,

nothing to prove the path we pursue

will lead to a life that is happy and true,

 

treading our course, on a tightrope we walk

but with each step we walk the talk.

We're dreamers and builders, we see what might be.

Our words become actions, the way to be free.

 

 And if the gain that we finally win

is to simply have peace and quiet within, 

can we be honest and make the call,

be willing to say, 'it was worth it all'?

 

Uncertainty looms,

yet, ne'er certain are we

when we merely hold on

to what we can see.

 

The path that has become quite dear

lies before us now so clear:

Letting go, through fear and pain

will ultimately be our gain.

 

 

 

Ungrateful

 Ungrateful I have been

It's a crime and a sin.

 

While I was happy, having fun,

running free in the sun,

I never did stop and see

I was blessed just to be,

 

to have my health and all my days,

enjoy the warmth of sunshine's rays.

Now I struggle to get out.

Feeling pain, I want to shout!

Where is the sun? Where is my health?

I took for granted my true wealth.

But should it e'er return to me,

oh, how grateful I will be!

One Small Star

One small star,
the tiniest spark,
through the deepest black
gleams in the dark

just enough to let me breathe
to give me hope and rest at ease.

 Then, gradually,
my fading fear
reveals more stars
start to appear.

And hope,
though often comes with light
even now
is shining bright.

 

Honesty

Honesty...

to be true to myself.

 

Glimpses of joy:

barefoot, earth, sun,

trees, ocean, dance,

breath, creation, inspiration,

 connection...

myself, my loved ones, the earth

 

understanding... 

 truth becomes reality through choice

 

Loss of honesty

is loss of connection

is loss of self.

 

Just a little...

Just a little patch of blue

In the blanket clouds of grey,

Just a little silver lining

Gives me strength to face the day.

Just a little bit of hope

And the faith to carry on,

Just a little glimpse of light

And I feel I’m getting strong.

Just a little bit of laughter

And I feel my soul can breathe,

Just a little bit of courage

And I’ll face my day with ease.